PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.