PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.

SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.