OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.

Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.