LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

I think I think, therefore I think I am.

A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.