DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.