Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.