Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.