ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.

The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.