PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.