INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.