ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.