RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.