Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.