DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.