You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.