Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.