Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

He laughs best who laughs least.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.

Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.