Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.