Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.