LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.