R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.