Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.