Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.