Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.