Noise: a stench in the ear.

An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager

Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.

Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.