Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.