What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.