HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

When in Rome, do as Rome does.