HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.