MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.