URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.

Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.

A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.