Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.