Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.