Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.