A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

A penny saved is a penny to squander.

VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.