Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.