PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.