Be kind and gentle on yourself. In this fast-paced world, we are so hard on ourselves and impatient with healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to speed up the process. Sure, you can numb the pain or distract yourself, but if you don't allow yourself to process the emotion in a healthy way, the pain and darkness just gets buried deep inside you, and eventually comes up in your future relationships. Stop blaming yourself, and instead try to look for the lesson and the growth opportunity.
Amy ChanI've learned that each time you go through a breakup, the pain isn't any more or less intense or hard, but the way you process and get back up can be different when you learn the tools to get yourself back to equilibrium. There are so many lessons that can be learned during times of heartbreak, and there's an opportunity to grow and become more emotionally healthy.
Amy ChanOftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.
Amy ChanYou may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.
Amy ChanHave things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.
Amy Chan