You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer; they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!

I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.

You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.

I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.