On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.

I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.