I did shoplift but I didn't get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.

Fire had an almost magical quality that suggested anything was possible. Early on, man even believed that fire was a god that had to be fed with animal sacrifices in order to burn brightly. Today we have evolved a long way from this ridiculous notion of a 'fire god' and now rightfully understand God to be a bearded being who lives amongst the clouds and hates Jews and homosexuals.

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.

My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there.