I did shoplift but I didn't get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.
Amy SedarisI want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy SedarisI always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty. That's always interesting to me.
Amy SedarisI always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
Amy Sedaris