Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, "Know how much money you'll make?" And then it would just fail.