George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.

Ever since I've switched to the clean syringes, I've never felt better in my entire life.

Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn’t funny.

Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.

I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.

Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.

I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.