BJ Novak gets the Perseverance Award for graduating from Harvard and being unemployed for the entire plane ride to Los Angeles.

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.

Milk should be refrigerated even before opening.

Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.

I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.

I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.