I'm sorry and ashamed to report that I'm not actually a Jew. I was pretending to be a Jew to minimize the holocaust.

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.

I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.

I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.

Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.

I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.

There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.