George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.

I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.

I love whenever they downgrade a hurricane to a tropical depression, because I always think of a tropical depression as how I feel three songs into a Jimmy Buffett concert.

Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.

BJ Novak gets the Perseverance Award for graduating from Harvard and being unemployed for the entire plane ride to Los Angeles.

My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.