I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.