I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Person-to-person, most people are honest.

Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!