I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading "Confused.

Everyone hates war, everyone says.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.