Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.

No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.

We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.