All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.

Dogs are nicer than people.

Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.

I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.

I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.