The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?

Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.

I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.