A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?