I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.

Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.